Blind as a bat

The swingset squeaked in an eerily way. It was actually quiet a creepy place once the sun went down and the children had gone home; Ewan mused as he sat in a deserted children's play area. The moon was at his back, and the world was algow with orange street-lamp light. His ankles dragged in the sand as he swung ever so lightly back and fourth on the wooden seat. Anyone coming up from behind him would think him some random person, leaning their head on the hand clutching the chain and talking softly to themself.

To approach him from the front was a different image.

Head rested against the chain, hand held a cell phone to his ear and he was talking to someone unknown person on the other end. In the hand resting on his lap was a small picture.

"I thought I was helping..." He paused to listen to the voice. "I know that," he added with a heavy sigh. "I take after my mom too much. Every time I gain something, I end up loosing it all." His eyes slipped closed as he listened on to what the other person had to say. "But what if there never was a Jamie? She'd be forever in that darkness she hid inside. What if there had been someone else in his life? Would she have done what I did?" He sighed dejectedly. "I've got too much of Jojo's influence in me..."

While the person on the other end of the line took over, Ewan tilted his head to look up at the sky while still listening to them speaking softly to him. He'd met this wonderful person a total of three times in his life time, but like his 'uncle' Joseph had said, they were like a beacon in a world of darkness. They knew what needed to be said and what needed to be heard. Under normal circumstances when talking to his parents or Jojo failed, Ewan would rely on certain blue eyed brunet who could shed light on things, but when something that made his world feel like it was crashing down there was only one person he could call.

Her.

Jojo loved her in a way he didn't love anyone else. It wasn't a love where he wanted to be with them for the rest of his life, or a love where they made up his world. It was more than just a love for a friend. Jojo had four peole in his life he would die for: Aubrey, Tetsu, Kate and Jenny. He loved Aubrey more than anything and couldn't live without him, but there was one person in his life he would die if they did.

Despite the age gap, Ewan understood what he meant. While the feelings were no where near as intense as what Jojo felt, he could feel why Jojo held a very special regard for this one woman.

"His heart is too kind, while mine's just painted black. I didn't know I could ruin it by giving them both something like that. I didn't want to hear how she was in pain because what she wanted she couldn't have. He deserved Siran more than me, you know."

There was a gentle laughter coming from the phone in his hand, and Ewan was silent while he heard a repeat of a story he knew so well. Just because it was what he thought was best for someone didn't mean that was what they wanted.

"But what about Jung?" Ewan glanced at the picture in his hand. Too dark to make out the picture - he knew what it showed. Ewan's wild side had got him into trouble. Big trouble. When Wednesday had announced her pregnancy, Ewan vowed not to let 'breeding' get out of hand with him. But there, growing happily inside a body that most of the time was not impressed by it, was another Sage child blessed/cursed with unique circumstances. "What if my mom had never had that abortion? I could have a half brother or sister that Jamie would have had to deal with. I may only end up seeing it every other weekend or something like that, but it'll still be looming over Sam's head every day. Ewan had a baby with someone else. Ewan had been with someone else. Hell, he already probably thinks I'm in this relationship for fun because of what I said to Siran. What if he thinks we means nothing at all?"

Ewan moved on the swing, lifting on leg over the other side and leaning his back against the swinging chain. The movement caused the swing to move unsteadily until eventually it returned to the gentle swaying from before. While he shifted, Ewan continued to listen to what the other had to say, slipping the photograph into his pocket.

"I wanted her to feel like she wasn't loosing. She shouldn't have had to give up without a fight. Sam's not some prize, but its not fair that she never even get a chance if I go and steal him away. I wasn't thinking about how broken I'd end up if he chose her, I was thinking that he'd be happy no matter who he fell for. But now it all just sounds like I was playing some game, not telling Siran that she should at least try to keep hold of what she believed was rightfully hers." He chuckled at the reply, wiping a hand over his face. "Yeah, well, when you put it like that, then I really do sound outright horrid. Maybe I should go back to America. I was thinking about staying the last time I visited anyway. Mom and Dad won't mind if I go back. Weds will be OK without me - as long as she doesn't go annoying aunt Jenny again."

Going home would be for the better, Ewan thought. Even if he didn't really want to leave, part of him knew he should go back to where he grew up. He'd left one life and started another despite there being nothing wrong with his old life. It wouldn't be easy going back, but perhaps he should.

"I don't think Jung would mind. He can raise the baby without me. Sam's got Ambriel and Cassiel to deal with anyway. Yeah, the sex is great, and I really like Sam in a way that I've never really liked anyone else before, but he'd probably be better off with someone a little older - a little more mature."

The chain of the swing creaked as Ewan moved for the final time, lifting his entire weight up off the seat and standing, the motion causing it to sway. It tapped against the back of his legs for a few moments before Ewan moved away, still holding his phone to his ear. "Because you think I should think about leaving for a while, and that just because a person thinks something is better for someone else doesn't mean that's what that someone wants. I can really see why he likes you so much, Josie."

Beaming, Ewan said his goodbyes to the person on the other end of the line before snapping the phone shut. Stuffing it into his pockets, hands followed, digging into the warm depths. The night air was cooler now. He'd go back to the shop, explain to Sam his thoughts on everything - and give his side of what Siran had told. Josie had reminded him that she understood what it was like to be that person that people thought would be better off with one person, when all she wanted was the person that thought they weren't the one. He needed to tell Sam that. Ewan was still young, and didn't always do things the normal way, but his heart always held the right intentions.