This time I'll stand by your side

A.N. Continuation from 'Relationships' and Cali's piece Coming To Terms with You

"So, did you miss me?"

River had been thinking and hadn't noticed his best friend heading towards him until Dominic plonked himself down on the bench beside him and spoke to him.  Eyes widening suddenly, River nearly toppled off the bench as he spun around to face Dominic.  "D-Dom!"

Dominic grinned at him while River tried to compose himself once more.  "You looked like you were thinking, I'm sorry if I scared you."

Chuckling, River shook his head, rubbing at the back of his neck.  "You didn't scare me - just shocked me a little," he explained, his eyes still not meeting with his friend's.  The last time they had talked had been in Dom's kitchen and he had ended their 'relationship'.  He hadn't wanted to end their friendship along with it, but he just didn't know how to talk or be around Dominic when he knew that after all the progress they had made as a couple he had just gone and stopped it.  Things could never go back to the way they had been, not matter how much River wanted it to.  He missed hanging out with Dominic.  He missed the fact that they rarely ever said anything to one another when seated together unless they were in class or a bar.  He missed the two of them hitting on girls and seeing which one of them could pick out the hotest girl only for River's confidence to falter right at the last minute and instead of asking her to dance he'd stammer like an idiot and go and down several shots of tequila.  Of course he had missed him.  "I missed you like the mole I had removed.  It was my mole.  I loved that mole, but no, the doctor said I could get cancer."  He grinned and leaned back on the bench, hoping that the atmosphere was like it had always been.


Hoping that Dominic wasn't mad at him.


"My liver didn't miss you though.  I think you need to punish it for that."


"I can't believe a part of you didn't miss me!  That's just insulting."


"Like I said - punish it."  But his grin fell and he sighed, leaning forwards now onto his elbows, looking down at the ground.  He couldn't let things return to normal just yet.  He had to clear the air.  He had to fix things.  "About what I said...When I said we weren't working...It was...It was all just stupid.  No, wait, that's not right..."  He growled at himself and pushed his fingers into his hair, leaning forwards even more.  "I panicked - a lot.  I'm not used to something like that.  Two guys is odd and people notice it more.  I was okay with it being you and me, but once more people got involved it felt...weird..."


This was the explaination he should have given back then.  These were the words he should have said.  They were also the words he shouldn't have said.  They shouldn't have broken up in the first place, because now they were back at square one - back to the beginning with River having to get used to everything all over again.  Inside River knew that he should care what people thought and that Dominic and himself already had an amazing relationship.  By accepting things that relationship could only get better.


"While we weren't talking....Lake said some things to me that kind of hit home."  He couldn't believe he was admitting to having 'a talk' with his little brother, although he was admitting it to Dominic, and in many cases Dominic was 'different' from everyone else.  River could tell Dom things he'd never tell anyone else - even his own parents.  Oh, God he was going to have to tell his parents...His father was having enough trouble as it was dealing with Lake.


Shaking his head to try and rid himself of those thoughts for now, River just focused on keeping his train of thought on the current situation.


"A lot of it was really confusing, but the main thing that stuck with me was the fact that he was fine with accepting who he was - and that his best friend didn't look at him any differently.  It was his friend that mattered, although I doubt Zak would be able to tell the difference between a potato and a tomato unless they were clearly labeled."


"Lake's a good kid," Dom said, obviously listening intently to what River had to say.  Tentatively he reached over and placed his hand on River's shoulder.  After a few moments and because River didn't stiffen at the touch he began smoothing his hand up and down River's back.  "And really cute - sometimes I just want to squish him."


"Don't go stealing him from his boyfriend.  Dimitri's pretty scary,"River said, dropping his hands from his hair, but remaining in the same position, enjoying the feel of Dominic's hand on his back.  Taking a deep breath he finally lifted his eyes and looked at Dom's face.  "And besides, I don't want you to date my little brother because I'd rather you dated me instead."


"But...What about everything?"


River gave him a small smile.  "It'll take a while, and to start off with I just want it to be you and me.  Not a secret, but not so out in the open.  We can hang out in your place like a couple and stuff, and if I do anything in public with you, please don't make a fuss over it."  Swallowing the lump in his throat, he reached over and took Dominic's hand down from his shoulder but he didn't put it aside - he curled their fingers together.  "I can't promise you that we'll last forever; that this is some fairytale romance with a happily ever after, but for now I can promise you that I never want to feel like I have for the time we weren't hanging out.  You're my best friend, Dom, please don't let me be the one to break your heart."